Thursday, April 3, 2008

My daddy is bigger that your daddy

Titles are always the hardest, no?
I was cleaning for pesach, (ya know, rereading old magazines) and thinking wouldn't it be love-aly if I could stay home for a seder or 2?
I make my own horseradish anyway so whats the big deal?
I can read the instructions in haggada just as well as the next guy, and i know a couple of required items that create interesting odors in the kitchen, and thats it.

When I a kid we would brag about what time our seder shlepped to.
"We finished at 3 am"
"3? big deal we finished at 3:07!"
"I had a d'var torah on every piece in the haggadah, 3 on arba bonim"
"I even have 1 on korech"
"my little brothers went rount by 'shefoach chamoscha' he musta seen Eliyahu."
"we acted out the makkos"
"so! we acted out chad gadya"
etc etc

Nowadays i prefer the " I was in bed by midnight"
The kiddies are growing and wanna shine on their own, so that no gonna happen.
Already one has half inch thick kuntras of stuff on the haggada.
Hey, i agree with them, just as long as i get to bed by 1:00am.
I think the per square inch there are more 'toras' on the haggada than any other sefer out there.

Maybe i should discuss it with spousy first, hummmm?

Monday, January 28, 2008

Haloo where are you?

I know I know, its been a while.

OK maybe longer.

Well the truth is I'm not even sure anyone ever reads my stuff.

No matter, I write these, as a way to either share something, without getting in trouble for it.

So I'm not sure if readership matters, or just the initial sharing, which is in effect accomplished by my taking the time to type stuff up.
Get it?


Anyway this happened this Shabbos, and as other stories, I can't tell anyone I know so Blogsville is the ideal outlet.

It was actually Motzie Shabbos, I had bought bagels and was putting stuff together to go with the bagels. Salads 'n spreads, one of which is popular in my family, avocado!!
Yup I can get my kids to eat a green thing.
Its how I make it. This is not part of the story but just as a note to those with a burning curiosity, its mashed with hard boiled egg, sugar, lemon, salt and a pinch of pepper. (drool)

Anyway, 1 kids asks if avocados are Kilayim ( mixture like nectarines), I say I don't think so.
Other kids asks about Kilayim so kid 1 says "ooh like mules" then adds off the puzzled look of kids 2, " a mule is a mix between a horse and donkey".
That leads to more questions like "hey can you 'marry' a zebra and a hippo"?
I say "Nah their DNA is too different"
More puzzled looks.
OK More of that my-kids-know-zip-about-sex-and-I-sure-ain't-telling.
I say " you know the old ladies that live with their cats?"
Nods all around
"Well why don't they have cat babies"?
Hey, I came up with this on the spur, gimme a break.

"They can't 'cause they are way too different, humans and cats just are very different species, so it doesn't happen, but horses and donkeys are very similar, like uhh, Asians and Whites"

OK so sue me.

The conversation moved on to other, less risque topics.

Can I get an opinion? What age, if any premarital, is appropriate for a full disclosure?

Obviously you guys know my opinion.