Monday, February 26, 2007

Ad Delo yada

OK this post is about the general garbage that Purim has DEvolved into.


1. Themes - this has got to be way off the original 'shaloch manos ish l'ra-ayhu'. I mean come on, 7 little kids dressed like pizza delivery dudes bringing a pizza pie made of marzipan?

I spent some time in Israel and I gotta tell you, it was amazing. The kids are dressed a bit weird, like mismatching socks and they bring a plastic plate covered with a napkin. Under the napkin, you'd typically find a fruit and a can of tuna or corn and a couple of cookies or pieces of cake. For the more chashuva person, you might include a bottle of kosher l'pesach grape juice. The fruit, can and wine are put away and the mezonos placed on the table. A few pleasant minutes of 'so, how's the baby - or bubby' and off they go. No expensive 5 foot baskets, no $50 costumes, no leftover mountains of 'kangaroo flavored Chewie Yucks[TM]' to dump when the kids aren't looking.

2. Drinking - I know this is a very serious item, so I'll do this one soberly.

Kids drink. Kids should NOT be drinking, even if its purim. Yes even, or maybe because its Purim. The guy driving his 7 adorable pizza kids might be drunk, at the very least he might have had a drink this morning, just to be able to cope with the pizza kids.

Then there's the idiot of a parent who says 'big deal I drank as a kid, why shouldn't my kid have it as good as I did' or 'My father let us drink, are you saying that my father, zecher tzadik levrocho, was wrong?'

Big problem, remember even as a teen they are little kids, please, please, ich bayte eich alle, someone has to be the responsible adult.

Oh, ad delo yada? It's a MITZVAH to drink. Go ask a rav, any rav, and if the rav by some drunken chance says it's OK to let kids drink, tell the rav in my name he is an apikores and give him my Email. WOW guts! No not really. It just so happens that I own a set of mishna brurah who backs my position on this. There is no MUST drinking if you insist on 'ad delo yada' take nap, that qualifies.

3. Shnoring - oy this one is a toughy.

Yes I think its good for BOYS to collect money on purim, (keeps em from stupid things, like getting drunk) Since kids don't have an income and can't participate in the matonos le'evyonim by giving, this way they can have a big chelek by channelling the money. I figure way over 7 figures, in cash, changing hands on purim, and the BOYS have a big part in it. Which accustoms them to tzedaka and chesed.

I'm getting to the 'BOYS' part. I think that girls should not be shnorring, not that girls don't have to do chesed, it's just I can't see letting my daughters go to a strange home to sell a win-a-trip-of-a-lifetime raffle. Sure its a big mitzvah but common sense says, that es past nish for girls to go, even in a group, sorta not a refined, eidel like, thing to do. Just my opinion of course, the rest of you may subject your daughters to the neighborhood sickos if it pleases you, after a couple of drinks or hours in a small car with 7 zeesa pizza kids.

4. Social life - whatever happened to going to sit at Zaydy/bubby's house for an hour. Now we seem to gravitate to the noise wherever its Happening.

The yeshivas mordechai hatzdik seems to be a good idea too. Imagine on a day off spending some quiet time with a kid in shul somewhere learning, nuts no? I mean I could be doing a mitzvah by drinking a beer, oh, you want me spend time with my kids, heck they can have a beer too! Idiots. Have we drifted so far that we don't realize what Judaism is based on?

Remember, the next generation of erlicha yid is influenced by YOUR actions.

And on that note, I wish all my readers a happy and thoughtful purim!

Monday, February 19, 2007

Of all the wierd places!

Read this this morning:

JERUSALEM (Reuters) - Israeli police investigating why a car was blocking traffic in the fast lane of a major highway Sunday found a couple inside having sex.
A police spokesman said the female driver and her male passenger gave in to their passions without pulling over to the side of the road, causing congestion and leaving other motorists having to swerve to dodge their stationary vehicle.
A patrolman gave the woman a ticket for holding up traffic.

Hummm just a ticket?
Maybe a towel or a condom.
I was wondering, we are all adults right?
What's the wierdest place you have had....uh.....relations, polite enough?

What? Me first, big talker?
I hear you.
OK.

I fooled around on a NYC subway train once.
More?
I think it was a lighthouse.
But it wasn't very good.
Oh my I think I'm blushing.

Ok I did mine.
PS. If this post is too racy feel free to boycott!

Wednesday, February 7, 2007

I always loved a good read

As a kid I read everything I could get my hands on.
When I say everything you can bet that I really mean it.
Everything.
There was very little in the way of Jewish literature. Marcus Lehman, Lubavitch Olumainu magazine and the Jewish Press (feh). There just wasn't much else to read.
So I grew up reading Jules Verne, Mark Twain and the like , all the Hardy boys and Nancy Drew books. Stuff that would be considered heretical nowadays.
I could never get enough, as a typical Hardy Boys book took me about 35 minutes to read.
We had an Encyclopedia Judaica that I read through.
As I got older I read Ellery Queen, Agatha Christie, Erle Stanley Gardner and tons more, point (yes, I noticed that I frequently do that) is I loved a good mystery.
As life is way more hectic, I never have time for a really good read.
I haven't really noticed this aspect of my life being diminished, until I got this Email regarding a weird murder mystery, I read it and naturally loved the story, short as it was.
Having gotten into trouble once before with reposting stories, I checked out Snopes and of course the story is too good to be true but far all you who love a murder mystery with an interesting twist, here's the link to the sight:
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/freakish/opus.asp

I gotta get a good book to read, and please don't give me the so called 'jewish' books that dominate the shelves today, their corny I could sit and make these by the dozen, if I typed fast enough.
Any suggestions?