Monday, September 3, 2007


A while back I mentioned that spousy spoke a shidduch, well, in order not to blow my cover, I will say that this month I will attending a marriage that my fantastic wife arranged.
Yes yes kiddies, and its not the first one either.
Anyway so after that initial phone call, it seemed that word got around that Mrs Spousy Yingerman was a world famous shadchan, and i didn't believe the amount of calls she got saying I have a great boy/girl 'on the market'.
Feh "market" sounds like a nice cut of steak.
So Spoucy ends up listening to people talk about themselves and I end up printing her some blank 'shidduch forms' so that she can organize her lists.
**time interval**
Lots of phone calls....
(starbursts) SHIDDUCH!!!!!(starbursts)

Now we start getting swamped with frantic calls,
I have a great boy....she's an she has diabetes.....he's been working part time and......but with medication it perfectly under control.....
Hashem yiracham everybody's got tzuris of one type or another.

All my life I tried to avoid being a yenta (yentum? what's a male yenta?) and now I'm inundated with lotsa personal info that I don't wanna know.

In the course of my work I meet people, all sorts and classes. Here and there I come across kids of the 'market' age, and I ply them for info.

Recently I spoke to a girl who informs she's in her late 20's, I was surprised, she coulda passed for 18-19, I ask what she's looking for and i get a cryptic response 'someone who wants to be close to Hashem'
Me:what does that mean?
Close to Hashem wannabe girl: you know a boy who feels in his heart that he needs to draw closer to Hashem.
Me:Everyone wants to be closer, what does your vision of closer entail, like what?
ctHwg:He feels in his heart that he wants to be closer.
Me:please explain, you mean someone who says t'hillim all day or someone who will stand on a tall building and yell 'I love you, Hashem'?
ctHwg:(looking a bit lost) No he just needs to feel inside that he needs to be closer to Hashem.

OK (exasperation)
No wonder she's not married, she has no clue, she's repeating a mantra she heard from a teacher, and has no idea what it means.

A brother in law of mine says teach 'em to make a good kugal and then the hubby will be happy, and if he's happy she'll be happy, know you all know the secret of great marriage.

I know this blog is disjointed, I just had to get it outta my head.

P.S. if you wanna submit any shidduch info on a 'marketable' kid from a black hat home (we're not ready to branch out yet) sent it to and I'll forward it to Mrs Spousy 'world-shdchantah' Yingerman's attention.


Miriam said...

mazal tov! I also made a shidduch. Just one. lol. They live in Beitar now.

bad4shidduchim said...

So now you're an auctioneer. Congratulations. May you match many heads of cattle with happy buyers.

chaverah said...

i havent been in blog world in while and to come back to this post is great! i cant stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

good kugel, and great sex make a perfect marriage. hatzlocha

yingerman said...

Dont give up there's lotsa stock to move out!


Hi long time no read.

Aint that the truth.

Miriam said...

Hi Yingerman, I just wanted to let you know that I'm married. However, I do have a sister.....

Anonymous said...

Mazel tov! I hope u make many more, and they pay well...!!!

Wishing you a gut gebencht Yohr a happy sweet year with health and wealth and lots of yiddish nachas!

Anonymous said...

"I ask what she's looking for and i get a cryptic response 'someone who wants to be close to Hashem'"

Don't you get it? She wants a doctor.

Bas~Melech said...

LOL (abt "close to Hashem")

Soooo... I know a great girl...or more ;)

May you be zoche to bring many simchas to klal Yisrael.

Frum Jelly Bean said...

Appreciated the part about the girl just repeating the mantra, over and over...imagine her asking her hubby someday, 'Are you feeelig close to Hashem today?'

Hey! That could be a bumper sticker!


Nah, maybe we could shorten that to FC2H? :D

And I have heard the kugel line so many times I've stopped rolling my eyes at

Anonymous said...

when are you gonna start doing gay shiduchim? i'm looking for a husband that will learn in kollel for at least 1 year

fashionista cat in a zero gravity shoe-store said...

I know of a diabetic guy...

Jessica said...

"if he's happy she'll be happy, know you all know the secret of great marriage." interesting... i always heard it the opposite way around. if the wife is happy then the husband will be happy.

Lady-Light said...

You have funny posts. I like.
You want to know about shidduchim? I was the shadchanit for my son! I met his future wife before he did, and when he came home on leave from the army, I introduced them. And to think that before he met her, when I told him I had met a lovely girl he might want to meet, he sort of rolled his eyes and said, 'eema, I can find my own girlfriend, and she's probably not even pretty.' Boy, was HE surprised. Didn't trust his own mother. sheesh.

aoc gold said...

Where Go The Boats?


Dark brown is the river,
Golden is the sand.

It floats along forever,

With trees on either hand.

Green leaves a-floating,

Castles of the foam,

Boats of mine a-floating

Where will all come home?

On goes the river

And out past the mill,

Away down the valley,

Away down the hill.

Away down the river,
A hundred miles or more,
Other little children

Shall bring my boats ashore.
-----by aoc powerlevewling