OK maybe longer.
Well the truth is I'm not even sure anyone ever reads my stuff.
No matter, I write these, as a way to either share something, without getting in trouble for it.
So I'm not sure if readership matters, or just the initial sharing, which is in effect accomplished by my taking the time to type stuff up.
Get it?
Whatever.
Anyway this happened this Shabbos, and as other stories, I can't tell anyone I know so Blogsville is the ideal outlet.
It was actually Motzie Shabbos, I had bought bagels and was putting stuff together to go with the bagels. Salads 'n spreads, one of which is popular in my family, avocado!!
Yup I can get my kids to eat a green thing.
Its how I make it. This is not part of the story but just as a note to those with a burning curiosity, its mashed with hard boiled egg, sugar, lemon, salt and a pinch of pepper. (drool)
Anyway, 1 kids asks if avocados are Kilayim ( mixture like nectarines), I say I don't think so.
Other kids asks about Kilayim so kid 1 says "ooh like mules" then adds off the puzzled look of kids 2, " a mule is a mix between a horse and donkey".
That leads to more questions like "hey can you 'marry' a zebra and a hippo"?
I say "Nah their DNA is too different"
More puzzled looks.
OK More of that my-kids-know-zip-about-sex-and-I-sure-ain't-telling.
I say " you know the old ladies that live with their cats?"
Nods all around
"Well why don't they have cat babies"?
Hey, I came up with this on the spur, gimme a break.
"They can't 'cause they are way too different, humans and cats just are very different species, so it doesn't happen, but horses and donkeys are very similar, like uhh, Asians and Whites"
OK so sue me.
The conversation moved on to other, less risque topics.
Can I get an opinion? What age, if any premarital, is appropriate for a full disclosure?
Obviously you guys know my opinion.
12 comments:
40 sounds about right to me. Well....maybe not FULL disclosure...but i think I might give them some hint...
I think they pick more from the street than they let on.
I say they need to know when they get curious, when you know it's going to come up in some other context, or if a teacher is going to introduce the topic.
All issues regarding love, sex, intimacy should, imho, be heard first from a parent. If not, your child may learn something you don't approve of. Additionally, if you're not there when they first hear of these things, you won't necessarily know how to counter the questions when they come.
My guess is when a child is old enough to ask what really is happening at a bris and how that baby got there...then that's a good time for light talk on the subject. Every child and every parent is different.
If a parent is really uncomfortable, there are tons of good books out there. I'm not frum so this may not be ok by your standards but I had a book called, "How Babies are Made" when I was probabally 7 years old. It had great illustrations made of paper dolls and begins with how flowers reproduce, then to chickens, puppies, then humans.
I've given my daughter "The Speech". She's almost 11 and I think it's time.
My mother gave me such a good speech, it did the job. But I ended up finding out about the real deal from my friends when i was about 16 anyway. But then it all boils down to the same issue: Would you rather they heard it from you?
My eldest had a great school nurse who spoke to the kids before I was ready, and then somehow everyone seemed to know before I was ready.
I guess I sound very pathetic.
hay its so nice to see you back
hints a little at a time...
Yea yea...boys will find out themselves
1. Avocadoes do not count as "something green." Yes, they have vitamins; are natural; they even grow on trees. But they're still basically a globule of fat.
My family likes them too.
2. The later the better; at least wait until after bar mitzvah. But be very well prepared with a speech. My kids always thought that sleeping in proxi9mity with someone would result in becoming pregnant. One son came to me, at the age of 13 or so, and said that he had heard that people do what animals do, and he clearly didn't want to believe it; he was disgusted by the whole idea. I told him that eating is also disgusting; you open your mouth in public, you put food into your mouth and grind it into an unappetizing mush of food and saliva, and you swallow it. Yech. But if you have good manners, and eat in a civilized and calm way, with good manners, then eating is a very dignified and pleasant experience. Same thing with marital relations.
3. One other son mostly learned on the job after he got married (and he and his wife and their four children are doing just fine, thank you), and another knew more than me by the time he was ten.
Thanx everybodee!!
nice no know somebody reads this stuff
i have an idea...premarital chassan and kalla classes, and that's just about it. not that i go by that myself, but then again, i wasn't in charge of my education.
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