I actually spoke a shidduch.
No nothing came of it, but it was sorta cool.
The info gathering was weird for me. I am not a yenta, actually I avoid gossip like a plague. Sorta like 'I don't wanna know!'.
But now I tell myself, I have know, 'cause it's for a shidduch.
Truth is I don't want to get involved, I know there are thousands looking for their zivug.
I'm not comfortable knowing that Miss Plonet has type 2 diabetes, she handles it on her own or that Yanky Plony stutters, a bit, only when he speaks, and only when he is nervous.
Like on a date?
On the other hand there are those who feel that nothing is good enough.
Here's a sample attempt.
Me: Hello, Is this Mr Plonysohn?
Me: Hi, My name is Chasid Yingerman, do you have a moment?
Plonysohn: (hesitation coming through) uh..yeah.
Me: I know you have a fantastic son learning at the famous Groyskop Yeshiva, and I heard all about his midos and his learning, he is mamesh a top boy. Are you listening to shudichim yet?
Plonysohn:Well, only if it's something really good.
Me: Ahh, perfect because it just so happens that I know this top girl. Have you heard of the Tashen family?
Me: Well I spoke to Reb Teef Tashen yesterday, and he tells me that his daughter Shayna just graduated from Fluff College and was in town until she decided, which seminary minahales, position to take. I also know that if the right boy came along, they would be interested in a shidduch for Shayna.
Plonysohn: Well, let look into it and I'll get back to you.
So far so good right?
Truth is, the one side or probably both, will get back to me and say something along the lines of 'well we're still looking at what else is out there' or 'I want to thank you for thinking of my son and the shidduch is very pasig (appropriate) but at this time we're not interested'.
I usually ask "May I know why your not interested?"
The usual is something along the lines of ' oh we wanted something special'.
As in lots of Green-freshly-minted-large-denomination-Special?
I now think i understand understand the shidduch crises.
This morning a kid I know, tells me about an 'older boy' maybe 25 (that ancient for chasidishe bochur) If possibly I could set him up with a shiduch. The kid has a sad smile and says good luck, I wiggle my head in puzzlement, he responds "his mother's very picky, nothing is ever good enough.
"Bartender, a zifitz for everybody, on me"