So I don't blog much anymore.
Part of me misses it very much, and part of me thinks 'loser, it a time wasting activity'.
Should I blog and share my soul, will people eventually figure out who Yingerman is? Do I care?
Should I just use my blog as an outlet to be real or funny...or build an alter ego that I might use as a crutch.
Tell me please what do I get out of my blog.
Some recognition?
Some occasional laughs, which G-d knows we can all use.
A secret group of friends that frequently changes on the whims of someone's blogroll?
I do enjoy the shackle free conversations that can and do happen here. The nearly racy content is always of interest.
For a while I thought that every woman with a shpitzle was, in fact her, I would stare outta the corner of my eye, that's her heh I should just go ask.
This goes for mooky, I imagined that slightly modern looking, stubborn but with the, been there eyes, that her.
David on the lake, tall dark hair pressed a bit to the side, he'd smoke a pipe if it was still in.
Lakewoodshmuck? well lets not go there.
Chaverah. Hummm short sheital nice shoes, almost short skirt, eye catchy handbag though.
I'm not gonna list everyone just saying that life here, started to hem into real life.
'Hey not fair', you all shout at me 'we are real'.
Of course, but there's real like stuff I can touch and then there's real like George Washington, I mean everybody knows about him but nobodies actually seen him, even though he slept around the north eastern US and he's on the buck.
SWFM is that lady that has a sticker on her purse, that poochy stuck on. And I know the Judes live outta town so you never see them. Hot Chanie has a rather large family, so I never know which is the real her from Frumbabe, Dov bear is that smirking guy , probably thinks he's insufferable know it all, Funkyjew82 is the man with the leather school bag, Dofan akuma is the man with the hunchback (get it?) Sara with no H , is that blond kid with the big open purse ready to grab her camera, Nuch i believe is a Bobover chusid with the appro levush to go with it, lvsn27, is a very shy wispy dark girl . Chaim Chusid's shirt indicates his struggle for control at the weekly kiddush.
Ouch stop throwing tomatoes at me, I'm entitled to my imagination.
Anyway I keep on thinking I spent too much time blogging, which in-turn crept into the rest of my life.
I will post Bli neder/IY"H more, just not sure yet what type of material
Monday, July 23, 2007
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
ALIVE!
Yes I am.
OK OK
I didnt write for while 'cause I didn't time. Then I think to me-self, hummmm after a hiatus I should come with something really knockadig. So I procrastinate waiting for the big zaftig'a blog.
Which somehow doesn't materialize...(sigh)
Anyway I got this email which I though all should hear about, ya gotta love cut n' paste.
I am offering you a note of warning and if you care to share this information with your friends, it could be helpful to them as well.
When you drive on the Pallisades Interstate Parkway between New York and Monsey, do not go above 65 and ALWAYS stay in the right lane.
Recently my dear husband got a ticket for speeding and I'd like to enlighten you as to what happens:
1. The cops on this stretch have NO compassion whatsoever -- they are stopping you for a reason and that is to give you a ticket and make sure their Alpine area pulls in as much money as possible from these fines.
2. When you go on the designated day for your ticket to be heard, you will be amongst 200! other people who got stopped for some traffic infraction.
3. You will wait. They hear people's not guilty issues until 10! at night.
4. You have no choice but to wait.
5. If you hire a lawyer, you will go first but you will not get off -- all the ppl who had hired lawyers were the proud recipients of a judgment of $380 (100 fine 30 court fees and 250 for the infraction) to be paid immediately, in addition, of course, to paying your lawyer's fee! (ouch).
6. You will wait -- the judge takes a break during the guilty and not guiltys.
7. You will wait again because the judge takes a dinner break!
8. The cops sit by and watch the unsuspecting people squirming in their seats.
9. There were only two cases that were dismissed. If you'd like to know which ones, ask i'll tell.
10. With pleading guilty and a good excuse (and a good clean driving record) you will "get off" with a quick fine of $95 to $105 (so sweet!).
11. If you have a Jersey license, you will get points and a lowered fine or a higher fine ($380) and no points.
12. If you have a New York License, you get no points (I repeat NO points are transferred from New Jersey to New York).
13. If you do not show up for this ticket on the designated date, you will get arrested the next time you are stopped because an arrest warrant is in place for you with bail already set at this courtroom.
14. End of the day I am here to tell you DONT SPEED ON THE PIP -- they have no compassion. Within one hour they took in $380 every five minutes -- I heard it and saw it with my own eyes.
15. By the way, my husband got off with a guilty and a low fine because he had a good excuse.
16. Save the time for yourself rather than sit in this stone house at the end of the road! You'll do yourself a favor.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Please pass this on to your friends -- especially your Monsey friends.
Still here?
I should add I got me a ticket, for not wearing in seat belt, on 13th ave!
It so happens I was no the way to the mechanic to fix my mirror (glass got stolen) and a new blinker bulb. Sheesh!
The end.
OK I'll post the zaftiga blog soon.....
Really.
OK OK
I didnt write for while 'cause I didn't time. Then I think to me-self, hummmm after a hiatus I should come with something really knockadig. So I procrastinate waiting for the big zaftig'a blog.
Which somehow doesn't materialize...(sigh)
Anyway I got this email which I though all should hear about, ya gotta love cut n' paste.
I am offering you a note of warning and if you care to share this information with your friends, it could be helpful to them as well.
When you drive on the Pallisades Interstate Parkway between New York and Monsey, do not go above 65 and ALWAYS stay in the right lane.
Recently my dear husband got a ticket for speeding and I'd like to enlighten you as to what happens:
1. The cops on this stretch have NO compassion whatsoever -- they are stopping you for a reason and that is to give you a ticket and make sure their Alpine area pulls in as much money as possible from these fines.
2. When you go on the designated day for your ticket to be heard, you will be amongst 200! other people who got stopped for some traffic infraction.
3. You will wait. They hear people's not guilty issues until 10! at night.
4. You have no choice but to wait.
5. If you hire a lawyer, you will go first but you will not get off -- all the ppl who had hired lawyers were the proud recipients of a judgment of $380 (100 fine 30 court fees and 250 for the infraction) to be paid immediately, in addition, of course, to paying your lawyer's fee! (ouch).
6. You will wait -- the judge takes a break during the guilty and not guiltys.
7. You will wait again because the judge takes a dinner break!
8. The cops sit by and watch the unsuspecting people squirming in their seats.
9. There were only two cases that were dismissed. If you'd like to know which ones, ask i'll tell.
10. With pleading guilty and a good excuse (and a good clean driving record) you will "get off" with a quick fine of $95 to $105 (so sweet!).
11. If you have a Jersey license, you will get points and a lowered fine or a higher fine ($380) and no points.
12. If you have a New York License, you get no points (I repeat NO points are transferred from New Jersey to New York).
13. If you do not show up for this ticket on the designated date, you will get arrested the next time you are stopped because an arrest warrant is in place for you with bail already set at this courtroom.
14. End of the day I am here to tell you DONT SPEED ON THE PIP -- they have no compassion. Within one hour they took in $380 every five minutes -- I heard it and saw it with my own eyes.
15. By the way, my husband got off with a guilty and a low fine because he had a good excuse.
16. Save the time for yourself rather than sit in this stone house at the end of the road! You'll do yourself a favor.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Please pass this on to your friends -- especially your Monsey friends.
Still here?
I should add I got me a ticket, for not wearing in seat belt, on 13th ave!
It so happens I was no the way to the mechanic to fix my mirror (glass got stolen) and a new blinker bulb. Sheesh!
The end.
OK I'll post the zaftiga blog soon.....
Really.
Monday, April 2, 2007
New great service!!
Google has a new service just in time for april first!
http://www.google.com/tisp/press.html
I gotta get one of those!
http://www.google.com/tisp/press.html
I gotta get one of those!
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Gotta love this guy
Someone cut out and brought in the the original, I ROFL, so Of course I wanted to share.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03272007/news/regionalnews/matzo_mobile_regionalnews_leonard_greene.htm
Rumor has it the news guys were so impressed, the city officials wont press charges.
http://www.nypost.com/seven/03272007/news/regionalnews/matzo_mobile_regionalnews_leonard_greene.htm
Rumor has it the news guys were so impressed, the city officials wont press charges.
Sunday, March 18, 2007
Chol hamoed trips?
AAAAGGGHHHHH!
Yes, as much I love yomim tovim, days off, sleep late, eat drink and be married (yes pun intended) there is always a drawback.
Sure there's the price of ________(fill in with matzos, shoes, clothing, unique edibles), but over all it's great.
BUT.
The but seems to hang there, sorta over my head.
What is the the but?
Chol Hamoed outings.
Every year we have the same issues.
Circus?
I feel it's inappropriate.
Zoo?
The older kids have seen monkeys and get real bored real quick.
Park?
5 minutes and the big ones are itching to to something else.
Great adventure?
Sure $45 bucks a head it's gonna blow a weeks salary......after taxes, maaser and the grocery bill.
So there you have it.
Ok I'm desperate here.
Kids range from the teens to chasidmaydele whom ya'all were graciously mazeltoving me not long ago.
Yes, as much I love yomim tovim, days off, sleep late, eat drink and be married (yes pun intended) there is always a drawback.
Sure there's the price of ________(fill in with matzos, shoes, clothing, unique edibles), but over all it's great.
BUT.
The but seems to hang there, sorta over my head.
What is the the but?
Chol Hamoed outings.
Every year we have the same issues.
Circus?
I feel it's inappropriate.
Zoo?
The older kids have seen monkeys and get real bored real quick.
Park?
5 minutes and the big ones are itching to to something else.
Great adventure?
Sure $45 bucks a head it's gonna blow a weeks salary......after taxes, maaser and the grocery bill.
So there you have it.
Ok I'm desperate here.
Kids range from the teens to chasidmaydele whom ya'all were graciously mazeltoving me not long ago.
Friday, March 9, 2007
The Psak
I got this from an old friend who forwarded it to me, i had a good laugh. In the hopes the no one will offended (disclaimer) i give you THE PSAK:
Is it okay to take Viagra on Shabbat?
Michael Bader, a well respected San Francisco psychoanalyst and a member of the Board of
Trustees of Beyt Tikkun Synagogue has brought the following question to our community, and hopes that its best Talmudic scholars might think more about it:
There are two differing schools of thought on whether you can take Viagra on Shabbat:
Beit Shammai forbids the ingestion of Viagra on Shabbat, lest one violates the infraction of erecting a structure("boneh").
Beit Hillel says do not read it as "boneh" but as "boner", and permits the ingestion of Viagra before sundown so long as the Kabbalat Shabbat takes less than one half hour to complete, the kids are asleep, and your wife doesn't have a headache.
And what bracha does one say before taking the Viagra pill?
There is a choice of four blessings:
1. Borei p'ri ha-eitz - blessing over the fruit of the tree;
2. Boruch Atah HaShem zokeif k'fuffim straightens those who are bent;
3. Ya'aleh v'yavo - arise and come;
4. Boruch Atah HaShem mechayei hameitim raises the dead.
Here is a little follow up to the above...
Yes, the anti-impotence drug has been found to contain a tiny amount of animal matter, rendering it - one would think - treif. But, Rabbi Abraham Blumenkrantz zt"l, an American Kashrut expert, said that, as a medication that adds pleasure to the Sabbath (not to mention the rest of the week), it is permissible. But it is banned during Pesach - along with all other agents causing things to rise.
PS I am hereby apologizing to Saratchka up front, its meant to be funny not personal!
>
Is it okay to take Viagra on Shabbat?
Michael Bader, a well respected San Francisco psychoanalyst and a member of the Board of
Trustees of Beyt Tikkun Synagogue has brought the following question to our community, and hopes that its best Talmudic scholars might think more about it:
There are two differing schools of thought on whether you can take Viagra on Shabbat:
Beit Shammai forbids the ingestion of Viagra on Shabbat, lest one violates the infraction of erecting a structure("boneh").
Beit Hillel says do not read it as "boneh" but as "boner", and permits the ingestion of Viagra before sundown so long as the Kabbalat Shabbat takes less than one half hour to complete, the kids are asleep, and your wife doesn't have a headache.
And what bracha does one say before taking the Viagra pill?
There is a choice of four blessings:
1. Borei p'ri ha-eitz - blessing over the fruit of the tree;
2. Boruch Atah HaShem zokeif k'fuffim straightens those who are bent;
3. Ya'aleh v'yavo - arise and come;
4. Boruch Atah HaShem mechayei hameitim raises the dead.
Here is a little follow up to the above...
Yes, the anti-impotence drug has been found to contain a tiny amount of animal matter, rendering it - one would think - treif. But, Rabbi Abraham Blumenkrantz zt"l, an American Kashrut expert, said that, as a medication that adds pleasure to the Sabbath (not to mention the rest of the week), it is permissible. But it is banned during Pesach - along with all other agents causing things to rise.
PS I am hereby apologizing to Saratchka up front, its meant to be funny not personal!
>
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
Shiduchim
I actually spoke a shidduch.
No nothing came of it, but it was sorta cool.
The info gathering was weird for me. I am not a yenta, actually I avoid gossip like a plague. Sorta like 'I don't wanna know!'.
But now I tell myself, I have know, 'cause it's for a shidduch.
Truth is I don't want to get involved, I know there are thousands looking for their zivug.
I'm not comfortable knowing that Miss Plonet has type 2 diabetes, she handles it on her own or that Yanky Plony stutters, a bit, only when he speaks, and only when he is nervous.
Like on a date?
(sigh)
On the other hand there are those who feel that nothing is good enough.
Here's a sample attempt.
Me: Hello, Is this Mr Plonysohn?
Plonysohn:Yes.
Me: Hi, My name is Chasid Yingerman, do you have a moment?
Plonysohn: (hesitation coming through) uh..yeah.
Me: I know you have a fantastic son learning at the famous Groyskop Yeshiva, and I heard all about his midos and his learning, he is mamesh a top boy. Are you listening to shudichim yet?
Plonysohn:Well, only if it's something really good.
Me: Ahh, perfect because it just so happens that I know this top girl. Have you heard of the Tashen family?
Plonysohn: Sure.
Me: Well I spoke to Reb Teef Tashen yesterday, and he tells me that his daughter Shayna just graduated from Fluff College and was in town until she decided, which seminary minahales, position to take. I also know that if the right boy came along, they would be interested in a shidduch for Shayna.
Plonysohn: Well, let look into it and I'll get back to you.
So far so good right?
Truth is, the one side or probably both, will get back to me and say something along the lines of 'well we're still looking at what else is out there' or 'I want to thank you for thinking of my son and the shidduch is very pasig (appropriate) but at this time we're not interested'.
I usually ask "May I know why your not interested?"
The usual is something along the lines of ' oh we wanted something special'.
Special?
As in lots of Green-freshly-minted-large-denomination-Special?
I now think i understand understand the shidduch crises.
This morning a kid I know, tells me about an 'older boy' maybe 25 (that ancient for chasidishe bochur) If possibly I could set him up with a shiduch. The kid has a sad smile and says good luck, I wiggle my head in puzzlement, he responds "his mother's very picky, nothing is ever good enough.
"Bartender, a zifitz for everybody, on me"
No nothing came of it, but it was sorta cool.
The info gathering was weird for me. I am not a yenta, actually I avoid gossip like a plague. Sorta like 'I don't wanna know!'.
But now I tell myself, I have know, 'cause it's for a shidduch.
Truth is I don't want to get involved, I know there are thousands looking for their zivug.
I'm not comfortable knowing that Miss Plonet has type 2 diabetes, she handles it on her own or that Yanky Plony stutters, a bit, only when he speaks, and only when he is nervous.
Like on a date?
(sigh)
On the other hand there are those who feel that nothing is good enough.
Here's a sample attempt.
Me: Hello, Is this Mr Plonysohn?
Plonysohn:Yes.
Me: Hi, My name is Chasid Yingerman, do you have a moment?
Plonysohn: (hesitation coming through) uh..yeah.
Me: I know you have a fantastic son learning at the famous Groyskop Yeshiva, and I heard all about his midos and his learning, he is mamesh a top boy. Are you listening to shudichim yet?
Plonysohn:Well, only if it's something really good.
Me: Ahh, perfect because it just so happens that I know this top girl. Have you heard of the Tashen family?
Plonysohn: Sure.
Me: Well I spoke to Reb Teef Tashen yesterday, and he tells me that his daughter Shayna just graduated from Fluff College and was in town until she decided, which seminary minahales, position to take. I also know that if the right boy came along, they would be interested in a shidduch for Shayna.
Plonysohn: Well, let look into it and I'll get back to you.
So far so good right?
Truth is, the one side or probably both, will get back to me and say something along the lines of 'well we're still looking at what else is out there' or 'I want to thank you for thinking of my son and the shidduch is very pasig (appropriate) but at this time we're not interested'.
I usually ask "May I know why your not interested?"
The usual is something along the lines of ' oh we wanted something special'.
Special?
As in lots of Green-freshly-minted-large-denomination-Special?
I now think i understand understand the shidduch crises.
This morning a kid I know, tells me about an 'older boy' maybe 25 (that ancient for chasidishe bochur) If possibly I could set him up with a shiduch. The kid has a sad smile and says good luck, I wiggle my head in puzzlement, he responds "his mother's very picky, nothing is ever good enough.
"Bartender, a zifitz for everybody, on me"
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