Thursday, November 16, 2006

New blog New Story

So I agreed it was a great idea to tell em the male point of view.

Where to start and what to share hummmmm.....
Wedding night(mare)?
Early small talk sessions?
Chossan kalla chats?
Chosson shver/shviger chats!!?

Gotta take slow, but I'll share 1 thing that comes to mind with painful clarity.

The first 'regular' shabbos, you know the first shabbos after sheva brachos shabbos, when the young couple gets to eat out, at Fress-du-la-Shviger.
Ya gotta picture the nervous state we were in, her at my place and me at hers.So I do kiddush loud, that went ok,but sure didnt help me relax, then after washing I get to cut my own full size challa.The shver hands me his sterling silver fancy shmancy engraved challa knife. I make a frummy hamotie out loud (no mistakes!) and start cutting.
(I think it was probably more more amusing from my younger brother-in-laws point of view so at this point I'm gonna switch)
The young choson jumped up with a small yelp. A small spatter of dark red blood went, as if in slow motion, from his hand to the plastic on the table. The chair he was sitting on tilted back against the wall and stayed in a leaning position.
(switching back)
I grab my forefinger that just dirtied the shvigers table cloth and applied pressure. Feeling like a total shlamiel I forced an apologetic smile "oh it's nothing I 'll be right back".The nearest bathroom was to my right, right past my wife of 10 whole days. I saw the expression on her face, a mixture of 'is he for real' and 'oh my lord'.That really helped thing along nicely.
I tried to pass her but as my chair was wedged between me and the wall, my legs keeping the chair from slipping down to a marble floor. I couldn't grab the chair, as one hand was pressing the other tightly as so not to bleed all over the place. My spouse, by now recovering from shock couldn't move the chair as we were ahem 10 days after our chasuna, and it was leaning on me.So as time dragged out (it was probably 5 seconds but seemed like several years- you know what I'm talkin about I'm sure you've all been there) I decided to use a combo of leg pushing and fingers from both hands to right the chair. With my tail between my legs I quickly walked to the bathroom and cleaned up my finger, but my ego would not come clean. My wife had followed me out had to convince me for nearly five minutes that its no big deal.Even though my sister-in-law (bless her heart) had cleaned up the mess and knife, it was a long long time before the shver let me use it again, just about the same time my ego recovered!

Hey anybody else wanna share ?You know blogsvillians love a good story post em!

5 comments:

nuch a chosid said...

u write very well. keep it on

Shpitzle Shtrimpkind said...

Laugh-n-cry story!! I can very well relate to these little stories that at that time are not funnay at all. The fact that you can tell the story already makes me add a 'baruch hashem'.

Keep it comin'!

anonym00kie said...

omg i just laughed so hard :) how cute..

ice said...

Dude, that was HILARIOUS. Very refreshing style of writing. Me liiiikes. Keep at it!

Anonymous said...

Thanx I needed a laugh!